I’m mostly just typing out my feelings right now and I don’t know if this will turn into something coherent.

Most of the projects I put out, and the work that I do in public, are free. Some of it is paid, but overall I enjoy giving away free things.

That being said, I do like getting paid on occasion (what a concept), and it’s kind of a bummer when I am hit with the realization that I should be making more than I actually am, or that I won’t make as much as I hoped to.

For example:

• If you’ve subscribed to Scrimba and taken my course there, awesome. I worked hard on it. I make nothing from that. I did make some upfront, but I haven’t made money on it in about 4 years.
• If you’ve watched any of the very professional-looking Prismic videos from 2022 that I’m in, thanks! I had opinions and shared them for a whole day of filming! I was never paid for that.
• If you’ve bought my DSA Scrabble keycaps, amazing! They’re beautiful! I worked so hard on them! The original manufacturer/distributor Clackeys went bankrupt and I never made anything from them.

(I’m not trying to bash these orgs or the people in them, please don’t go after them)

Bleh, anyway, it’s not the end of the world to not get paid for some of these things. I’m very privileged to be in the tech industry where I make enough that it’s okay for a lot of my work to be free for others. I think I am particularly bummed these days because my startup Brainstory officially shut down this week, and because I just confirmed some of the things where I thought I would make money won’t actually make any.

I’m in the latest cohort of BCM (also known as Big Cash Money), and it’s been really wonderful to be around people trying to actively improve their lives and financial well-being. I think these non-money-making things are standing out more to me these days because of that, as well (in a good way).

I shipped a project called W-9 Crafter earlier this year (which I blogged about) and BCM helped me figure out pricing, and the conversation I had on Twitter after I made some sales floored me:

@cassidoo: It took a lot of people actually telling me that this was worth money to actually believe it! It’s wild, I’m now wondering how much I’ve missed out on I admit 😅
@ryanflorence: Literally millions in your case I’d wager 🫣
@jhooks: i’d agree
@cassidoo: oh no
Link to thread

Anyway. Getting paid is hard. Or rather, it’s both easy and hard. I think the mental shift is hard, the concept is easy, but then when things don’t go the way you expect, it’s hard again. If I never expected to make money from things where I thought I would make money, it would be easy. I don’t think I’m even making sense anymore. I should go try and ship something. Capitalism is calling!