Cassidy Williams

Software Engineer in Chicago

Cassidy's face

Geek mama... saying no

I said no to something today. It sucks when I have to do that. Typically I’m very much a champion of, “say NO more often!” and “don’t push yourself too hard!” (and I stand by that). But in this case, bleh, it hurts a bit. I had signed up for a (live, not recorded) course that I was pretty excited about, and paid for it, and even did a little office rearranging to prepare for it.

But… I have to remember that I’m a new parent, with a busy job, with obligations, and I can’t just sign up for nerdy things that sound fun. Which sounds more depressing than it is. It’s just a mindset shift. I have more limited time, currently, and I have to pick things that I can do async, when I can grab a spare moment, until I can have a more predictable schedule. I’m learning how to be more efficient with the time I have, and more patient with myself when I can’t do as much as I want to.

Justin Jackson wrote a post kind of like this a while back, and his line, “but now’s not the time” resonates with me right now.

I really care about my hobbies, and I want my daughter to see me enjoying non-work things as she grows up. So, though I can’t do all the things as much as I used to (until she’s a bit more self-sufficient, at least), I can do the more important things. Slowly but surely, she might just do them with me, too.

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